Happy Wednesday everyone,
Often times we pray for new blessings but struggle to maintain the upkeep. I’ve prayed for my car, my new place, my relationship, my job, my side hustles, my blog and my social life. These are all things I have lacked in at some point of my life and asked God for better. God answered all my prayers and granted them to me. So now here I am struggling to keep the balance of it all.
Everyone keeps reassuring me I am doing a great job but I can’t help but doubt myself. I have been in go mode since losing my previous job. I was working multiple jobs to keep my bills paid as well as trying to find a new job. Now that I have this wonderful new job I am working on time management and planning. I’ve started using my calendar more and actually stop to write things down. I’ve set reminders for myself on my phone and wrote myself affirmations. I know I can do this. I am being stretched and made uncomfortable in order to grow. This is all mind over matter and it’s time to prioritize my time better. I have my big girl job, my big girl car, and my big girl apartment with my boyfriend. Time to put on those big girl panties and find balance.
I’ve also made it a point to focus more on my health. My horrible eating habits and laziness has developed through my lack of stability over the past 2 years. When it came to my diet, I was very limited when I shared a kitchen while living with family or didn’t have a full kitchen in my first studio. When it came to my diet and my workout schedule, I was very limited when I was underpaid and barely getting by. I didn’t have money for groceries, healthy food, and a gym membership. I had just enough to keep these bill collectors off my back. As you can see, I’ve made ALOT of excuses for myself. I have had little to no motivation when it came to my diet, exercising and my health. But being surrounded by sickness and death puts things in prospective. Growing older really wakes you up to what’s going on in the world and what’s going on with your body. I’ll be 28 next month, this sh*t is only going to get more tough so the sooner I start the better.
On a lighter note, I had an amazing event last weekend. The #CommunityPortraitPopUp was such a beautiful event to be apart of. Two of my cousins came to support me at the event which I was really thankful for. Having my family’s support is such a great feeling. After the #CommunityPortraitPopUp I had to hurry home to get ready and decorate for the ladies night I hosted at my place. Ladies night turned out to be such a fun and much needed gathering. Everyone brung all different kinds of drinks, we laughed, ate pizza, played card games, shared stories and got to know each other better. I did feel like I wasn’t as prepared as I would have liked because I had an event earlier that day. (I also was up all night braiding hair the night before.) Needless to say, I overbooked myself and had a very hectic weekend. By the time Sunday came, I was sleep on the couch most of the day.
In spite of it all, my girl friends and family all let me know that they had alot of fun. We had such a great time that people suggested I host it regularly, like once a month. My friend also suggested that I do something similar for New Years which is a really great idea. Next time, I will make sure I have help and more time to prepare.
Unforunately, we were having so much fun we didn’t really get any pictures from ladies night. It was honestly really bomb experiencing black women from different backgrounds, different states, and different cities come together and just enjoy themselves. No drama, no issues, no pressure to be anything or act a certain way just let go and genuinely have fun. It felt good to create a safe space for black women to be themselves. This wasn’t a “networking” event or it wasn’t some orchstrated agenda planned. There was no awkward small talk about “what do you do?” or “introduce yourself to everyone”. The women just naturally started getting to know one another and opening up.
One of my friends opened up to the other ladies about her sexuality, which I did not expect at all. Her personality is naturally more reserved and she had just met most of these women for the first time, so I was honestly proud of her. When my friend disclosed her sexuality there was not judgement at all the other ladies actually welcomed the conversation and had questions. My friend took the opportunity to educated everyone on the different terms, definitions, and the difference in some sexual identities. It was honestly a magical experience. I know some of my friends weren’t able to make it and I had others show interest in attending so I will definitely plan another ladies night!
Halloween was fun. I bought a nun costume at the last minute and won the costume contest at work. Not to brag but this is the second time I’ve won a costume contest at work. LOL either my coworkers aren’t that creative or I just kill it every year. I went to a Doja Cat show Halloween night. I don’t really listen to her music, I went to hang out with my friends but I didn’t realize how many fans she has. Doja Cat puts on a good show and the crowd was going crazy for her. I’m old af now so I got sleepy around 1am and couldn’t stop thinking about my bed. I also couldn’t stop thinking about how early I had to get up for work the next morning LOL but I had fun.
My little sister’s birthday was yesterday, November 5th. We went to LA for the weekend and hung out with my first cousins on my mom’s dad side of the family. I literally have cousins from all over so it is so hard to get us all in one spot. My little cousin from Sweden came to visit so it was really good to see her. My other cousins came from North Carolina, Alabama, Arizona, and San Diego. We all met up at the outlet mall in LA. We ate, shopped, took pictures and ran around til we were burnt out. The time I spent bonding with my little cousins I rarely get to see was really priceless. I’m the oldest so you know I’m always excited to past down my wisdom every now and then. lol
WELP… That’s all I have right now. Just working hard to finish 2019 off strong.
Thanks for reading & we’ll talk more next week!